The $8 “You Have Got to be Kidding Me” Burger

You think ordering gluten free at restaurants can be challenging? The confusion is apparently not limited to “special diets.”
I was on a business trip last month and a couple of my friends that were with me got to experience first hand all of the trials and tribulations of ordering gluten free.
During one particular lunch ordering process, my “cheeseburger no bun” ended up being a pile of lettuce, tomatoes and onions. Not even any meat!
We all had a good laugh off of that experience, as most everywhere we had been offered a gluten free menu, or they were extremely accommodating.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and one of the same friends was on a road trip and at a fast-food restaurant to get a bite to eat. (This is a non-gluten free friend, but that’s not the point for this post.)
He was greeted by this:
“Hi, Welcome to (deleted text). How can I help you?” she says.
“I’d like a Triple Whopper with garden burgers,” he says.
Blank stare.
“What do you mean?” she says.
“I’d like the meat patties replaced with veggie burgers, ” he says.
Blank stare.
“You mean you don’t want meat?” she says.
“That’s right,” he says. “Same things as the Triple Whopper, but with veggie burgers instead.
Confused look.
“A veggie burger?” she says.
“Yes. A veggie burger. It’s on your menu.”
“I’ll have to charge you extra,” she says. “We don’t serve them that way here.”
“Okay.” he says.
They ordered the rest of their food and sat down to wait.
The “chef” comes out from the back to speak directly to them.
“Did you say you wanted a Triple Whopper with no meat, just veggie patties?” says Chef.
“Yes. Just the Triple Whopper, but with veggie patties,” says my friend.
“You don’t want any meat?” says Chef.
“No, just the Triple Whopper with veggie patties instead of meat.” says my friend.
Blank stare. Followed by confused look.
The jury goes out to deliberate.
Their number is called.
The result:
A triple meat pattie with cheese, topped with bacon and ”wrapped” between two veggie burgers.
He took a picture just for me. Then he tells me, “I don’t know how you do it gluten free. That might just have blown their mind.”
“That looks disgusting,” I tell my friend. “At least you didn’t eat it.”
“Oh, I ate it.” he says.
“Of course you did,” I said. “And?”
“It was disgusting.”
Afterwards, he said he noticed on his receipt that he was charged for two whole veggie burgers and a Whopper. He paid $8 for the “You Have Got to be Kidding Me” burger.
The moral of this story? My gluten free friends, you are not alone. You can apparently go through this kind of ordering chaos for any kind of diet.

p.s. Those veggie burgers are not gluten free. They’re contain a whole lotta wheat filler. Don’t try this at home.
2 Comments and 1 Reply
    • OMSH
    • 02.18.2011

    It amazes me that people get so stuck in particular modes/patterns they can't follow basic requests. It is the whole herd mentality. "We always make it this way. People always eat it this way. Why is 'this guy' messing with our norm?"

    Even asking for salad dressing on the side is a huge endeavor at times. I can't imagine what it's like to have to tackle gluten-free outside of the home.


    • Sharon
    • 02.18.2011

    Oh that is hilarious and disgusting, and certainly something many of us can appreciate. Thanks for sharing!


      • admin
      • 03.21.2011

      Test reply.

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